//reflection//

Look in the mirror,

analyze every feature.

Even though neither

them nor the mirror

actually tell me who I am.

I still trust them, lust after

everything that they say

that I can gain from this pain.

Suck in, breathe small,

Don’t slouch, stand tall,

One more mile before I fall.

Is this all? Is this all?

The reflection that I reflect on

isn’t the same one that you see.

“This is me. This is me.”

Scars and stretch marks stretch my ideas of what I can push.

“This is me. This is me.”

They never glance my way but I’m scared in case they take a second look.

“This is me. This is me.”

So instead,

Let’s get rid of that double chin,

smile wide,

pull the loose skin.

Don’t let hunger win. Don’t let hunger win.

Stay fit; get thin.

Forget who I am within.

You said

“Listen, listen.

Beauty comes from the inside.”

But beauty is an overrated word.

So I smile and nod and try to hide

the lies, the lies, the lies the lies.

I forget who I am inside.

I forget that you cried

every time. Every time.

Will I let me try?

Realize that I can’t see

the reflection and be satisfied

unless I first see through your eyes.

Perfect, fallen, broken, loved.

This is me. This is me.

 

*Image is Invasion (aka Broken Mirror) 2012 by Paul Apal’kin.